God Has Made Me A Fool

Some things were going on that were straining my relationship with God. I was going on a routine trip across town to meet my wife with the kids and switch cars. I still cannot figure out what had happened. I'm scared I might have passed out for a few seconds. That probably means nothing however. My pretty blue Expedition was totaled. Everything above the front bumper was pushed back about two feet. She wasn't fancy. She had a DVD player for the kids and lots of room. I sometimes dreaded the gas mileage, but I loved the straight power that big block 351 put out. Totally impractical and totally cool. Well it's gone. I caused the accident so I of course felt every problem with the situation very personally. When we got the rental they told us that we were going to have to fit in a tiny Chevy car because our insurance wouldn't pay for an suv or minivan. He changed his mind at the last minute and gave us an suv for no extra charge. While the insurance company was jerking us around we started looking for another car. We found a great minivan that would be cheaper payments, get better gas mileage and would be comfortable for the family. I told God that I thought this was the one and I really want it so if he would please give us a hand it would be appreciated. Later we became pinched for time when the insurance said payment would be going out and we would owe 10g and needed to return the rental in three days. We could not get approved for the car we wanted. The car we did get approved for we couldn't afford. The argument of course was the fact that we could not simply live with my little paid off hiccuping car. There was no room to carry the family unless I put someone in the trunk. Buying the expensive car was not an option. I thought that was the most irresponsible thing to do. I fought for a week. NO,NO,NO. Un fortunately I was running out of options and that ridiculous offer was patiently waved in my face everyday. I became mad at God. I was enraged. Are you kidding me? I just need a comfortable cheap car, this is a joke, and anyone with common sense would say NO! For my persistence and prudence I was offered the same insane offer that I couldn't accept. The vehicle has a car payment that is 150 less than my house payment. I finally gave in and I became bitter and sarcastic about the whole deal. I was waiting to fall on my face. I am not very good at math but I can do basic addition and this was not going to work. My wife who knows me very well must have not been thinking well, because she gave me all the opportunities I needed to throw some bitter sarcasm at the subject. The most common quip from me was, "God gave us this truck as a surprise for the promotion He's gonna give us." I was very deeply sarcastic. I'm in school and she got a job two months before. So I was completely ready, set up in my lack of faith, and sarcasm, as well as a cheek full of bitterness.  My wife came home on Friday and tells me she got a 13000 dollar raise. As usual I am the fool. How many times will I be a fool? The last three years have been full of these kind of lessons. The way things worked out I should have figured it out, but I was aggravated because it wasn't my way. A fool is so engrossed in the sound of his own voice that he can't hear his heart.